Kick In the Teeth

Well, nothing like a rejection letter to give you a nice, solid kick in the teeth and make you feel like you're COMPLETELY wasting your time.

I'd sent a query, 3-page synopsis, & 3 sample chapters to Michelle Andelman @ Andrea Brown Literary Agency out in Palo Alto, CA. I thought, sure. Why not? From what I could gather reading her short bio on the website, I figured she and I would sort of see eye to eye.

The thing that drew me to her name was that she was involved in film a bit. Since I have a film background and I've been told that my stuff reads much like a movie, in terms of pacing and what-not, I thought I'd give it a shot.

(Side note: I didn't say that my stuff reads like a movie in my query. I know that would be TERRIBLY amatuerish to do...)

Well, on 3.18.06, in a good mood, I pulled a familiar-looking return envelope out of the mail slot. Immediately, I knew it wasn't going to be pretty. And to me, it wasn't.

Written on the query letter I sent, were the handwritten words:

Kingsley -

Thanks for the look, but I'm sorry to say I don't see this premise as being strong or distinctive enough for the current market. While it's not quite right for either my representation or that of my colleagues here at this agency, I do wish you the best in finding the right agent and publisher for your work.

- Michelle

Some would say: "Well, at least you got a handwritten note! That's good."

I disagree.

While I know that this is the opinion of just ONE agent, it left me feeling like I'd completely wasted my time even thinking about writing this book. Boy, would she do a back-flip into the dumpster if she knew I'd written the 2nd in the series, am working on the 3rd and have 7 more planned.

Yeah...not distinctive enough.

Not to sound resentful or bitter, but so far 98% of the agents I've come in contact with, stink. They're smarmy little ego-maniacs that take pride in belittling those that have the guts to do what they obviously can't: write. It's enough to make me want to skip the agent altogther and try my luck going directly to a publisher.

I was at a Query Letter/Book Proposal workshop about a month back and it was led by Betsy Amster or something. She spent most of the time telling everyone who paid to hear her speak how 'overwhelmed' they are as agents and how their job is just so tough. In the same breath, she mentioned that she had readers that went through the 'slush' pile.

Ah...you're overwhelmed by the work that your readers do? Boy, oh boy. Please, sit down and have a Fresca. You're over-worked!

Also, we get it. There are terrible writers out there. Those who write awful, unspeakable query letters detailing pretty bad ideas. Great. Move on, though. Please. You're only making yourself sound petty. You're forcing the majority of the people at the workshop laugh at the 'good ones' you've saved. Sadly, they don't realize they're laughing at themselves.

So, it's all good. I'm still in the fight and no, I'm not discouraged. I just think it sort of grounded me temporarily and got me thinking:

What if I am one of those awful writers? What if I am beating a dead horse and my stuff is just not as good as everyone (friends and strangers alike) has been saying it is? Maybe this isn't what you're supposed to be doing, ol' KMC...

Then I snap out of it and realize: one way or another, these books are getting published. It's just going to happen. Simple as that.

The journey continues...